Introduction

Why would anyone want to read a book written by me?- I'm just a 26-year-old from a small
town in Massachusetts. You probably don 't want to read it. Yet, I ask you to take the time out to hear my
words.

Twenty six years isn't a very long time, but it can feel like forever when your swimming through.
Sometimes I'm relaxed, floating along. Most times I'm stuggling not to drown. The days
thoughts are a mix of where I've been, where I am, and where I might want to go in the future.

At this point in time, my focus is on learning, and using what I learn to teach. It doesn't matter
who I gain wisdom from, or who I impart that wisdom to. A man can be awakened by anyone, at anytime.
Every person alive has knowledge of different things, on many different levels. I'm just here to soak up as
much as I can.

Elementary school, high school, college or none of these forms of education, LIFE is a lesson.
Shakespeare claimed that the world's a stage, where many men play many different parts over their time.
My sights are often set on distinguishing the documentaries from the fictional portrayals (real from the
phony).

Trying to discover the tnrth on an earthly level can be just as difficult as trying to find it on a
spiritual level. The facts about your "friends, " family, politics, this country, that country , can be elusive.
The FUCKING questions of the youth, wondering if the answers will come with age. Right? Wrong?
Why? What? When? Where? How? Rest? Is it just me, all of us, or a selected few that deal with such an
intense internal feud? I can't answer. I used to question if a Lord existed, and if It did, was It listening?
Now I am firm in my belief in Jesus Christ as the Saviour, if we go with Him. Tryna figure this life out, maybe
it's not meant to be understood. Who knows?

Elders pass away. Occasionally peers pass away unexpectedly. One thing I do know, is that we
never know what's going to happen. I'm just trying to live my life with an open mind, and never think that I
am wise.

I wonder why we allow governments to control our lives, even when they make serious decisions
that we don't agree with. Apathy is a sickness~. I wonder if there's anything I can do to change this world.
I know there's probably nothing I can do, because I'm simply a man.

Right now in my day to day progress, I change a little every day. My thoughts are of never
stopping, never giving up, even when I'm deceased. Never do I want to compromise my honesty or beliefs
because society says I'm "wrong" or that my heart is cold.

The reason I wanted to write these words, is because I have a lot to say, a lot to say about many
topics, most which concern the world we all live in. Who the hell am I to think people would want to hear
my opinions about things I know about, plus things I don't really know much about? Who am I to think
people would want to know my life? Well I think there's a reason that these thoughts and feelings flow so
freely through me. I think a Higher Power wants more than just me to feel them. so I'm just doing it.
Whoever's for it's for it, whoever's not, well...I'm still gonna move forward. I turned to paper because
most people in this society, not all don't listen to the youth, especially when you look different, or have a
speech impedement, such as myself. I hope to stress that you shouldn't judge an individual unless you get to
know them, and even then, you still don't have that right. I'm guilty of saying things about people, but I've
opened my eyes, and I'm still not perfect. I'm guilty of making derogatory comments toward gays, obese
people, the mentally challenged, people I considered unattractive, and so on.

I'm part of the generation that produces Columbine-like incidents. Maybe I can shed some light on
how teenagers go a little insane. I can't speak for anybody else, only myself but I do believe it's relatively
the same elements that affect a young mind. Granted, no two individuals live the exact same lives, but most
people want, and need the same things. We all need love, we all want acceptance and happiness.

From my perspective, I always had many friends growing up, I wasn't teased, as you might expect
someone as different, in appearance, to be. Innocence and ignorance is bliss, when you're a child, you don't
realize how dirty the world really is. You don't realize how deceptive people can actually be. As they hit
their teens, all this harshness can be hard for kids to swallow. This is where trouble can arise.

If a kid shows weakness, or doesn't stand up for himself/herself they're likely to be bullied and
antagonized. This combined with a poor home life, or drug use, or chemical imbalance, or any of a number
of circumstances can cause someone to snap. A weak mind, easily influenced, could re-enact something
from a movie or music. Parents need to try to keep an eye on their children. You should know if your kid
knows right from wrong, real from pretend, and decide what your kid is exposed to. I know, you can't be
with them all the time, or hold their hand forever, but you can't give up. I understand, it's not easy, kids
close up, and become very good at playing things off as being just fine.

In my mind, I feel like I can't let anybody fuck with me. Sometimes I used to feel like I don't want to be a
punk, with no guts. As I've grown I've learned for sure that I ain't no punk...things have happened, and my
instinctual reaction told me that I ain't no punk. Maybe that's the reason a lot of teens shoot up their school.
Maybe they just want to prove to themselves that they have the balls to do it. Maybe there are just too many
kids who don't fear God, maybe they don't realize the finalization of death. Perhaps they don't realize the
consequences of their actions. The same ideals apply to the possible reasons that kids commit suicide.

I know that nowadays, quite a few teens think about, or even attempt to take their own life. I'd be
lying if I said I never contemplated it. What stopped me? The fact that I believe the Lord put us all here for
a specific reason. I believe that taking a life, whether it be your own, or someone else's, is interfering with
the Lord's work. I'm just scared of burning in hell. I do believe in killing in self-defense.

You older generations don't understand that these days, you can't just have a fist fight and be done
with it. These days you have to be prepared for someone to pull out a weapon. If you beat someone up, or
disrespect someone, you have to be ready for retaliation. If you're strong enough, or scared enough, to let someone
disrespect you, and not do something about it, then walk away. Otherwise, stand in their face. Stay on your toes.
Even if you do walk away, some people will fuck with you even more, because they think, or they know, spot weakness.
It's a lot different in this day and age than when a lot of you folks were growing up. Or maybe it isn't, and you
older folks have been bullshitting us young ones.

In all honesty, I don't think there is a solution to homicide and suicide. I actually think it's only
going to get worse, I know it sounds harsh, but reality hurts. I guess death is just a part of life, and all we
can do is live our lives the best we can. Raise your children the best you are able to. If you see mistakes, or
flaws in the way you were raised, or in your time as a whole, try not to repeat those mistakes. Other than
that, just keep your head up and stay strong. Perfect your mind, even though there's no such thing as
perfect.

I hope to point out to those who don't already realize, that, when you try to play things off as being
"great," and ignore, or try to hide pain, the painful issues never get resolved. My works might seem
miserable, but it's just a way of working through things, maturing, trying to better myself. Before you say
I'm a punk, I ask you to read these whole books. l have grown and matured. I have different outlooks now
than I did yesterday, nevermind a few years ago. My opinions have grown, my knowledge has deepened.
I started writing these little raps as a hobby/challenge/stress-reliever in about 1998. Many of the pieces from
'98 and '99 were thrown away due to the fact that many of them sounded like combinations of rap songs
that I listened to, they were not completely original in my view, so they had to be discarded. As my skills
got sharper and life got deeper, I decided to publish, because I felt like there was a reason I was writing all
these things. As I attempted to get into the publishing "game" I slowly realized that my shit was too
upfront, real, raw, in four years I was probably turned down by between 50 and 100 publishing houses.

Still workin '. Fuck it, I feel this is what I'm here for. So if you're reading this, I guess it proves that if you want
something bad enough, you'll probably get it.

A lot of the eiders think the youth are a bunch of punks or "know-it-alls" if we express how we
feel. Yo, I know I don't know shit, but I know how I feel. And these outbursts I have are simply honest
expressions of what I see, hear, and feel. Lately, every morning' when I wake up, a voice in my head says,
"Educate yourself " There's still so much I don't know of or about, and never will, because no matter how
long I live, death will come before evolution ceases.

I warn you that some of the things enclosed may be considered "nasty." Some of the things I say
might be offensive to you. They might make me seem ignorant. But I feel as though if I left these things
out, you wouldn't get the full picture, of me, or maybe the youth. This is the way some people are in real
life. We need to get back to real life.

I suppose I'm a hypocrite, cuz I lie too, and that is the truth. But when you're in the midst of liars,
what should you do? There might be contradictory statements on my part, but it's all due to inner-conflict.
My spirit isn't completely sure how to react to the major issues in life. I'm just trying to do what's right,
while protecting and staying true to myself at the same time.

I'm not trying to bitch and moan about life. Read through--there are good moments. I'm no
expert...in anything. I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone. I'm not trying to say I know better than
anyone. I'm not trying to push anything on anyone. I'm just putting things out there to make people think,
if they're interested in expanding their mind.

I pose many questions throughout all these books, Society's Creation: Progression to Aggression,
and Prawject Revolution: Progression from Aggression, but I don't know that anybody has the answers.
Go with God. The Word. I ask you to do what you FEEL is right in life. Don't go against your gut, your heart,
because someone else discourages it. You might not like it, but this is the truth as one human breathing being
lives and sees it.

Remember, a lot of what we hear is hearsay, meaning it's not always factual, but we're still
influenced by what we hear, whether the info is true or not. So even in matters of the family, I may be
confused. Please understand that I'm like the news, these are my views. Also, remember that my views are
produced from a Westem-cultured society, supposedly "civilized." When people say that some things are
simply "human nature," I tend to disagree. How can it be natural when we've been conditioned into certain
actions and reactions? To me, natural is how wild animals, and humans who are not trapped in so-called
"civilization," behave.

Some of the situations throughout these books involve members of my family, however , I did not
reveal their identities out of respect for the fact that they are my family, and I have no right to broadcast
their business. But, if I did speak of the circumstances, it was because I felt that there was a lesson I could
pass on that might be beneficial to others. To my family: I know you'll be shocked, and possibly upset or
disappointed with me for some of the things I've done that you weren't aware of, but it's all true. Don't run
from that truth.

One last thing, regarding my use of quotes throughout these books. If you 're wondering why I used
so many words from other artists, my answer is that sometimes you can't say certain things any better than
someone already has. Also, I am trying to pass other artists' wisdom on to you. I never take credit for what
I didn't create, so long as the message gets through to the people. If l used a quote, it's because I felt where
the person was coming from. If any of you artists have a problem with the fact that I used your words,
contact me, if you think my reasons are not sincere, if you think I'm not sincere, I will eliminate your work
from these books: This ain't about money.

This is for all ya'll that feel it...
So, these are some lessons I've learned since being here. .